It is easy to make snap judgements based on partial information and first impressions, but these quick judgements can be misplaced.

If we are quick to judgement, it can make other people defensive and confrontational. If we approach an issue with an open mind and open heart, we help to facilitate a better outcome – in which the other person can modify their approach.

Don’t criticise what you can’t understand.

A car stopped in the middle of the road, the car behind got furious and started beeping its horn. The first instinct is to sympathize with the car which was impatiently beeping. But then, on closer inspection, a very small hedgehog scurrying across the road. 

Sometimes, we get irritated with the behavior of other people – but often this is on only partial information. On first glance, it looked selfish behavior to stop in the road, but on a second glance I was grateful to this careful driver. It is a reminder to be careful of judgement from only a partial impression.

People usually think they are trying to do the best from their own perspective. Sometimes we may think someone is doing something bad, but we do not see their inner motivation – perhaps they are trying to do what they think is right, given their limited understanding. 

Bearing this in mind, at the least, helps us to empathize with someone else’s point of view. We learn that maybe there is some good intention behind misplaced decisions.

As a child, we may be upset if our parents tell us off for taking a risk; we feel it is unfair. But, when we become parents ourselves, we better understand that the parent was trying to express their concern and protect our well-being.

The more you judge, the less you love

When something goes wrong we often look for somebody to blame. The train is late, so we get angry with the train staff; but the problem may be completely out of their control. We shouldn’t blame someone when they have endeavored to do their best given the circumstances.

We have been on the other side of the coin – where we have been judged and blamed, despite it being due to factors beyond our control. Sometimes it is those under intense pressure, who most deserve our patience and understanding.

Judge yourself, not others

If we are always judging others, we need to take a look at ourselves and ask why we are making these judgements.

Sometimes it is out of a sense of inferiority or insecurity; we judge others to try to make ourselves feel better. It is better to concentrate on our own well-being and try to improve our own attitude to life.